He was standing there, his eyes like they had been before. His exquisiteness stabbed at her heart, the hair looked so like she had just pressed with the wet comb, and the small face was clean but unhappy. Yet her arms somehow did not ache to hold him like her heart told her they should. Something too far away and too strong was between her and him. She only saw him as she had always seen hidden from everyone as in a perfect smog that will not let anyone see their love complete.
She was loving him unconditionally. However he wrong her, still she will carry on loving him. The possibility to love another frightened her, terrified her actually. Being a free spirit, a part of her is almost dead when roaming around to find him!! She wanted to stay there forever, letting him calm, pretending he was just a kid and his mom could make everything okay.
Either she was trying to find god in him, but he never realized nor convinced. She desired to find God in a much different way, her heart hungers to find God everywhere. Once her appetite was him, but now things seems to be changed. What she was really desiring was intimacy with God. She wanted to know that she is not alone in life. She is connected with God.
She was actually under this illusion that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but obviously there isn’t.