Life without an Angel

A long time ago I wrote blog post,  woooooops an year almost…Time is running and things are different now, you start to wonder all at sudden why -- when did you start thinking it was more fun to talk to your father. Thinking about the past year with a pounding headache. When did everything change? This initial reaction is painful. Seems I have completely lost sight of who am I? This is not me. The real me, loves being a daddy’s girl who does not have any direction and plans to just let the tides of time carry me through life. I am just telling myself that the real me is more “Strong” than this. Then this all hits me, this is the real me!

Well, I really did not give myself enough time to write this note, I found it hard to come up with something like this. Everybody needs a guardian angel to help them through tough times and to let them know that someone cares.

Fathers, in most families, are our special unsung heroes. Any man can be a father But it takes someone special to be a Dad. Dad, Daddy, Pop, Abu, Papa - many different names, whatever it is you calls your dad, those words will always mean so much to you and to him.

I can write endlessly in this piece how "perfect" my father was.  My relationship with my father was, I think, better than the rest of my siblings. Somehow, in a sort of quiet way, I understood him—his moods, rules and dreams. Still, just like any family, ours also went through struggles and disappointments.

I have never been a material girl. My father had always told me never to love anything that cannot love you back

My dad is my hero. I were never free of a problem nor did I truly experience a joy until we shared it. I needed him to know when I was hurt. I needed him to know when I was happy. I needed him to know to hear me. I got what I wanted every time.

My guide, my companion, my mentor, my supporter, my defender, my strength, my toy repairman, my playmate, my wiper of noses and tears, my laughter, my driving instructor, fashion consultant but always most of all my closest and surest friend. . . .

We sometimes used to fight over nothing, but always knowing in our hearts that nothing could ever change how we felt about each other and, in my case, that he was the rock that I could always turn to...

Abu...

You have given me the world. Your love, support and constant encouragement has made me the girl I am today. I am grateful for all the lessons you have taught me through your guiding example of how to give freely and love unconditionally. Thank you for always encouraging me to follow my dreams and do what I love. You have taught me about patience, family and LOVE!!!

I have so many fond memories...family gatherings, the countless times you drove me to school in early winter mornings and we used to enjoy that Halwa Purri breakfast on our way (mum could never know about this secret of us) I remember the first time when I was sent to Hostel and it was getting tough to manage alone in hostel, I came back crying and told you that i want to quit. You looked at me, smiled, gave me a hug and said... "don’t give up and keep your head up sweetheart." and finally I ended up staying there for four long years!! I remember your patience dad as you taught me everything, cheering me up on weekends in that horrible hostel, how you made me feel so special, your hugs & smiling face  reminds me that I would be okay...I am missing all those late night conversations with my silly questions  and so many more loving memories. 

We have had a strong bond of relationship and that was a "mysterious bond". no one can understand!!

 I love you dad... and I will miss you always!!!

 2017 was hurtful, thoughtful, selfish, altering, molding and one of most accepting years of my life. December was unkind and ruthless to me.

Happy 2018  peeps :)