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Saturday, 7 September 2013

Look Back :p



And I am thinking why life is teaching me so many lessons when I am not interested to learn even *roll eyes*  Honestly life is nowhere as near as easy as people say it is also life sometimes isn't that fun and can be fairly lost.
So much more happened in my little world in last one month, what I do know is that this one month specially the last week – was so ruthless, I cried and cried like a little baby, my heart was howling, I shifted to a new place nearby my office but I could not adjust, I used to think that I am so much flexible and I can adjust anywhere and in my point of view, human beings are so much flexible but I was wrong! That place was killing me; I feel like repenzil, I missed my mum so much there. I could not adjust with that family, I wonder that there are different varieties of human beings on planet earth and that land lady been so rude to me, took all my money, FAT CAT, huh. 
I am strong but I need to be more and more *smiles*  In last week, I was down and depress…

when I am speaking to someone I just feel like crying even though nothing bad has happened or been said. And it's like I have to try really hard to hold it in or i'll just burst into tears. I don’t know it was seasonal disorder or I was just over sensitive.

Meanwhile I thought I should go back to my old place but then I thought ‘’Never Look Back’’ If Cinderella has gone back to pick up her shoe, she could never been a princess:p then my friend told me Shama please go back to your old place, if you made a mistake, you should correct yourself, focus on something Islamic instead of Cinderella stories, come on you are grown up. I am so much more fascinated by Cinderella since my childhood J even my bedroom at home is having Cinderella theme, I feel like Cinderella, haha I really need to grow up now… sometimes it’s good to be childish


Mimi jumped into the picture, she showed up at my place at 12:30 am, we had a meeting and finally she said you are not going to stay here anymore, you will fell ill, I cannot come to see you on every weekend, talked to land lady and we left that hell, I feel like I was in hell station for a week, I was feeling so free and happy, we had a dinner at Residency hotel  and then she dropped me off. Thank You Mimi :)

And for tomorrow we both will go for lunch and a movie and then shopping *InshAllah*

One good thing happened in this entire month, I have started wearing scarf, its been 2 weeks now, It didn’t give the impression like an option for me to start wearing scarf, because I didn’t see how it could fit into my life. None of my friends did it and I thought ‘If I believe in Allah and Prophet Muhammad(P.B.U.H), I pray, fast  and I try to be a good person, should not that be enough?

 I headed out to the market, bought 2 scarves,  asked Allah to help me find peace with my scarf and let it be a source of reward for me since I am doing this for Akhirat  and not Dunya  and started wearing it from that day  Allah gave me Hidayat and it was the only decision in my life that I took at my own although my team lead at work place Uzma was my inspiration, she taught me how to tie it up, my mum still don’t know, I will give her a surprise :)




3 comments:

  1. I love your new Hijab look :) You go girl!!

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  2. nice and positive change :)

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  3. I've been feeling really sad, too.
    And yes, Allah helps, because when no one else can, He can.

    InshaAllah, you will feel better and happier soon :)

    It's been a long time since I've been on your blog, and I'm sorry about that :/

    ReplyDelete